16 4 / 2014

inlovewithmyipod:


lierdumoa:

nugget-basket:

the-unpopular-opinions:

The Opposite end of traditional “street harassment”: the girl who never get’s cat called
In feminist spaces I see a lot of feminists complain about being street harassed. I read about it and I totally sympathize with their experiences, even though I have never experienced them myself. I am a female myself but am not conventionally attractive. I am not hideous but more or less a plain jane. On top of that I have ALWAYS valued comfort over style, so dressing feminine isn’t something I do on a regular basis. I wear a lot of loose jeans and T-shirts. But yeah, anyway, know that I  am not trying to play “who has it harder” or anything but rather I am making this to share my experiences of getting the opposite end of the shit-covered stick that is street harassment that I don’t see being mentioned. I call it street dismissal.
When I say street dismissal I am talking about men who feel the need to subtly announce that unattractive women are not worthy of respect or acknowledgement because they are not a conventionally attractive female or their fellow man. 
Some examples I’ve personally experienced include:
Many guys at parties will arrive or leave, give all the men handshakes, give the attractive women hugs, but won’t even make eye contact with me. I am not a guy or a hot girl so I don’t exist.
I’ve been bumped into in public without an apology by men. I am not an attractive girl or your fellow man, so it makes sense for you to not even notice I am there.
One time I was walking behind a group of attractive women. A guy spotted us. Opened the door for the three women and shut the door in my face. I am not worthy of his time because I am not attractive.
I once was charged a cover on ladies night because I went out to the bar in my work uniform. (red shirt khaki pants)
Another time at a bar, I saw an open space to order a drink. The guy sitting next to me saw me, raised his eyebrows and turned the other way to make sure I don’t DARE try to talk to him. (Because I totally went there to hit on him and NOT get a drink right?)
I once went with my gay male friend to a straight guys house he knew. The first thing out of the straight guy’s mouth was “I was totally excited when you had a chick with you. Nevermind!” the whole night he offered my friend drinks and didn’t offer me a thing and seemed frustrated when I asked where the bathroom was. The only other thing he said that night was “do you have any hot single friends that would come over here?”
Another time I went with a female friend of mine to get drinks. We met up with her guy friend. He ordered a round of beers for everyone except me. His excuse was “he didn’t know she was going to bring someone along and he is low on money” that was until his guy friend from high school showed up unexpectedly and he quickly bought him a drink.
These are just examples that have happened to me. So my question is are there any other “unattractive” girls out there that experience things similar to this? 
I just wanted to speak from the other perspective. We always hear the horror stories of sexism from the perspective of the women who are objectified by men in the sense of “oo I want that.” and not too many in the sense of “oo, ew DO NOT WANT” 
This may seem like a big long rant that looks like “WAH PRETTY GIRLS GET THINGS AND I DON’T OH MY LIFE SUCKS” but I don’t mean to come off that way. Because I feel the need to mention that guys don’t do this just to get laid. This is where it’s important to bring up the fact that we are treated with less respect than other men. Men aren’t decent people to other men because they want to fuck them. They are decent to them because they see them as equals that deserve basic respect and acknowledgement. But we are women and to these men either you try to fuck them because they are hot or want them to go away. An unattractive woman has no purpose to him. 
Misogyny affects  all women negatively. 

THIS IS IMPORTANT

As a woman who gained a lot of weight right out of high-school and spent 3 years in ill fitting clothes and various terrible haircuts, then lost the weight in her early twenties and drastically refined her look — I have lived both sides of this equation. And I think having experienced the dismissal makes it all the more glaringly obvious how hollow the so called “positive” attention really is.

Plus, as a society that women get harassed and cat called and all various other forms of irritation, girls that don’t get that start to wonder what’s wrong with them. Not that you even want to be hit on inappropriately or harassed on the street but when you just get overlooked by 99% of the male population for the people you hang out with, you start to wonder why they get hit on in front of you and you’re always left alone. I consider myself lucky now to have gone so long without the harassment but for a long time I really wondered if I just wasn’t pretty enough for any guy because all my friends always complained about having to turn guys down and attempt to not get hit on and no guy ever did that to me.

inlovewithmyipod:

lierdumoa:

nugget-basket:

the-unpopular-opinions:

The Opposite end of traditional “street harassment”: the girl who never get’s cat called

In feminist spaces I see a lot of feminists complain about being street harassed. I read about it and I totally sympathize with their experiences, even though I have never experienced them myself. I am a female myself but am not conventionally attractive. I am not hideous but more or less a plain jane. On top of that I have ALWAYS valued comfort over style, so dressing feminine isn’t something I do on a regular basis. I wear a lot of loose jeans and T-shirts. But yeah, anyway, know that I  am not trying to play “who has it harder” or anything but rather I am making this to share my experiences of getting the opposite end of the shit-covered stick that is street harassment that I don’t see being mentioned. I call it street dismissal.

When I say street dismissal I am talking about men who feel the need to subtly announce that unattractive women are not worthy of respect or acknowledgement because they are not a conventionally attractive female or their fellow man. 

Some examples I’ve personally experienced include:

  • Many guys at parties will arrive or leave, give all the men handshakes, give the attractive women hugs, but won’t even make eye contact with me. I am not a guy or a hot girl so I don’t exist.
  • I’ve been bumped into in public without an apology by men. I am not an attractive girl or your fellow man, so it makes sense for you to not even notice I am there.
  • One time I was walking behind a group of attractive women. A guy spotted us. Opened the door for the three women and shut the door in my face. I am not worthy of his time because I am not attractive.
  • I once was charged a cover on ladies night because I went out to the bar in my work uniform. (red shirt khaki pants)
  • Another time at a bar, I saw an open space to order a drink. The guy sitting next to me saw me, raised his eyebrows and turned the other way to make sure I don’t DARE try to talk to him. (Because I totally went there to hit on him and NOT get a drink right?)
  • I once went with my gay male friend to a straight guys house he knew. The first thing out of the straight guy’s mouth was “I was totally excited when you had a chick with you. Nevermind!” the whole night he offered my friend drinks and didn’t offer me a thing and seemed frustrated when I asked where the bathroom was. The only other thing he said that night was “do you have any hot single friends that would come over here?”
  • Another time I went with a female friend of mine to get drinks. We met up with her guy friend. He ordered a round of beers for everyone except me. His excuse was “he didn’t know she was going to bring someone along and he is low on money” that was until his guy friend from high school showed up unexpectedly and he quickly bought him a drink.

These are just examples that have happened to me. So my question is are there any other “unattractive” girls out there that experience things similar to this? 

I just wanted to speak from the other perspective. We always hear the horror stories of sexism from the perspective of the women who are objectified by men in the sense of “oo I want that.” and not too many in the sense of “oo, ew DO NOT WANT” 

This may seem like a big long rant that looks like “WAH PRETTY GIRLS GET THINGS AND I DON’T OH MY LIFE SUCKS” but I don’t mean to come off that way. Because I feel the need to mention that guys don’t do this just to get laid. This is where it’s important to bring up the fact that we are treated with less respect than other men. Men aren’t decent people to other men because they want to fuck them. They are decent to them because they see them as equals that deserve basic respect and acknowledgement. But we are women and to these men either you try to fuck them because they are hot or want them to go away. An unattractive woman has no purpose to him. 

Misogyny affects  all women negatively. 

THIS IS IMPORTANT

As a woman who gained a lot of weight right out of high-school and spent 3 years in ill fitting clothes and various terrible haircuts, then lost the weight in her early twenties and drastically refined her look — I have lived both sides of this equation. And I think having experienced the dismissal makes it all the more glaringly obvious how hollow the so called “positive” attention really is.

Plus, as a society that women get harassed and cat called and all various other forms of irritation, girls that don’t get that start to wonder what’s wrong with them. Not that you even want to be hit on inappropriately or harassed on the street but when you just get overlooked by 99% of the male population for the people you hang out with, you start to wonder why they get hit on in front of you and you’re always left alone. I consider myself lucky now to have gone so long without the harassment but for a long time I really wondered if I just wasn’t pretty enough for any guy because all my friends always complained about having to turn guys down and attempt to not get hit on and no guy ever did that to me.

(via almaasi)

16 4 / 2014

"I met my wife at a Star Trek convention. She was study abroad from France and spoke little English, and I didn’t know a lick of French. So, for the first few months of our relationship, we communicated by speaking Klingon."

Hear more tales of nerdery in this week’s Pwn Up! (via dorkly)

Okay I’m not even a Star Trek fan but that’s beautiful.

(via tchy)

(via horticulturalcephalopod)

16 4 / 2014

(Source: janetvandyne, via buckyystan)

16 4 / 2014

wearethefourthwave:

"THIS PICTURE WILL NOT CHANGE THE WORLD, BUT I STILL NEED FEMINISM AND I’M GOING TO REALLY, REALLY TELL YOU WHY":
-Because I got called a whore for wearing a short plaid skirt when I was 10
-and because when Nujood Ali from Yemen was 10 when she got divorced
-Because black girls’ names became my classmates’ favorite “joke” when I was 11
-and because when an 11-year-old girl in Texas was raped by 18 men the New York Times wrote of how the girl “dressed older than her age”
-Because I started counting calories when I was 14
-and because when Malala Yousafzai was 14 she was shot in the head for trying to go to school
-Because I heard a boy greet a girl with “hey slut” today at age 16 -and because when a 16-year-old girl in Steubenville, Ohio was filmed being raped by two boys at a party while unconscious the CNN reporters talked about how tragic it was because the rapists had such bright futures as athletes
-Because I will have to watch my drink at all bars and parties when I am 22
-and because when CeCe McDonald was 22 she was sentenced to 41 months in prison for defending herself against a man who screamed transphobic, racist insults at her and then slashed her face with a bottle
-Because no matter what age I am the biggest threat to men will still be heart disease, and the biggest threat to women will still be men.
-Because it is not just about me, because it is not just about anger, because it is not just a JOKE, because it is not just about “hating men,” because it is not just about girls with vaginas, because it is not just about ending “slut”, because it is not just about white straight girls in Rookie magazine, because it is not just about writing on backs, because it is not just about the fact that gay men are “fags” but lesbians are “hot,” because it is not just about pictures of thin white girls being the only google image results for the search phrase “beautiful women”, because it is not just about writing signs, because it is not just about what she was wearing or how many times she said yes before she changed her answer to no, because misogyny is not just about one thing and feminism is not just about one thing and it is not just “a trend” and it will not “happen” in just one way.
-And because yes. It is about equality for EVERYONE, but first and foremost it needs to be about equality for girls, because they are not treated equally to men, in every single sense, and you are not going to take feminism away from me and call me bossy/hostile/aggressive and make this about yourself or make it into a joke, because truth be told, I’m not joking and I’m tired of explaining. If you want to call yourself a feminist, you work hard to spread feminism, you do not turn this into a contest of whose struggle is greater and constantly demand to know what you can get out of feminism personally. Feminism is not just about you, or me, it is about everyone. If you’re male and you’re tired of men being stereotyped as hyper-masculine, soulless, sexist, inherent leader-tyrant creatures, then go out and prove the patriarchy wrong and fight for girls, like someone with a soul who believes in equality would. Then, yes, feminism will be about everyone.
-Sylvie (an amazing grrrl godess) Photo taken by Caroline http://c-h-0-w.tumblr.com/

wearethefourthwave:

"THIS PICTURE WILL NOT CHANGE THE WORLD, BUT I STILL NEED FEMINISM AND I’M GOING TO REALLY, REALLY TELL YOU WHY":

-Because I got called a whore for wearing a short plaid skirt when I was 10

-and because when Nujood Ali from Yemen was 10 when she got divorced

-Because black girls’ names became my classmates’ favorite “joke” when I was 11

-and because when an 11-year-old girl in Texas was raped by 18 men the New York Times wrote of how the girl “dressed older than her age”

-Because I started counting calories when I was 14

-and because when Malala Yousafzai was 14 she was shot in the head for trying to go to school

-Because I heard a boy greet a girl with “hey slut” today at age 16

-and because when a 16-year-old girl in Steubenville, Ohio was filmed being raped by two boys at a party while unconscious the CNN reporters talked about how tragic it was because the rapists had such bright futures as athletes

-Because I will have to watch my drink at all bars and parties when I am 22

-and because when CeCe McDonald was 22 she was sentenced to 41 months in prison for defending herself against a man who screamed transphobic, racist insults at her and then slashed her face with a bottle

-Because no matter what age I am the biggest threat to men will still be heart disease, and the biggest threat to women will still be men.

-Because it is not just about me, because it is not just about anger, because it is not just a JOKE, because it is not just about “hating men,” because it is not just about girls with vaginas, because it is not just about ending “slut”, because it is not just about white straight girls in Rookie magazine, because it is not just about writing on backs, because it is not just about the fact that gay men are “fags” but lesbians are “hot,” because it is not just about pictures of thin white girls being the only google image results for the search phrase “beautiful women”, because it is not just about writing signs, because it is not just about what she was wearing or how many times she said yes before she changed her answer to no, because misogyny is not just about one thing and feminism is not just about one thing and it is not just “a trend” and it will not “happen” in just one way.

-And because yes. It is about equality for EVERYONE, but first and foremost it needs to be about equality for girls, because they are not treated equally to men, in every single sense, and you are not going to take feminism away from me and call me bossy/hostile/aggressive and make this about yourself or make it into a joke, because truth be told, I’m not joking and I’m tired of explaining. If you want to call yourself a feminist, you work hard to spread feminism, you do not turn this into a contest of whose struggle is greater and constantly demand to know what you can get out of feminism personally. Feminism is not just about you, or me, it is about everyone. If you’re male and you’re tired of men being stereotyped as hyper-masculine, soulless, sexist, inherent leader-tyrant creatures, then go out and prove the patriarchy wrong and fight for girls, like someone with a soul who believes in equality would. Then, yes, feminism will be about everyone.

-Sylvie (an amazing grrrl godess)
Photo taken by Caroline http://c-h-0-w.tumblr.com/

(via thepoliceboxisringing)

16 4 / 2014

drydrunkempress:

nodaybuttodaytodefygravity:

221bconsultingtimelord:

jensenspudgymidway:

watson-i-am-your-turtle:

christianborles:

so2460donewithyou:

the-eleventh-blog:

does your period ever come late and you start to wonder if you’re pregnant despite the fact the most intimate thing you’ve ever done is shake hands?

DO GIRLS REALLY THINK THIS

yes

yes

yes

yes

that whole mary thing really freaked us out tbh

amen

(via thepoliceboxisringing)

16 4 / 2014

lolinondodatt:

obeyaqsaa:

i couldnt scroll past this i had to reblog

I really tried to scroll past it

(via qchord)

16 4 / 2014

blitzpony:

tenfootpolesociety:

shavingryansprivates:

why he lick me

THIS IS SUPER COOL THOUGH IF YOU UNDERSTAND HORSES. LIKE THAT NIPPING IS A GROOMING BEHAVIOR HORSE’S DO TO BOND AND TO MAINTAIN AND IMPROVE SOCIAL BONDS. SO THAT HORSE IS BASICALLY TREATING THE CAT AS PART OF THE HERD AND SUSTAINING THE FRIENDLY BOND.

IT IS SAYING, “this tiny horse is very tiny but we are friends. Look at my tiny friend.”

I seen it a million times but now that it has that comment attached I have to have it on my blorg.

(Source: lolgifs.net, via wendixy)

16 4 / 2014

thechicwiththecurls:

  • it’s okay for you to like skinny girls
  • it’s okay for you to like skinny girls with big boobs and a butt
  • it’s okay for you to like curvy girls
  • it’s okay for you to like heavier girls
  • it’s totally okay to like thighs or thigh gaps and big boobs or small boobs and big butts or little butts
  • what’s not okay is telling a woman that she isn’t beautiful or sexy because she doesn’t meet your personal body type preferences

(via nerdgirltotherescue)

16 4 / 2014

dontkillbirds:

Doctor Who is no longer my fave TV show and you have no idea how sad that makes me

(via i-was-so-alone-i-owe-you-so-much)

16 4 / 2014

"Get excited about the little things. About wearing a new outfit for the first time. About Sunday brunches with your best friends. About the new cute guy in your class. About finding an extra dollar in your pocket. About anything that even remotely makes you happy because as you grow up, passions fade and enthusiasm gets mistaken for foolishness. So don’t let the grey world stop you from shining."